No-one ever said divorce was easy. However, it can be a time for rediscovery and finding those passions you had in life before.
Initially it can be a difficult transition period, going from being part of a couple to being a singleton. Everything feels so fresh, new and scary. Not to mention divorce costs which can leave the best of people feeling even more bitter.
In time though, you may think about getting out there and meeting someone new. Our advice would be to wait a little while longer to work out who you are before bringing anyone else into your life.
Change your perspective on this period of your life and look at it like a big adventure where you find out what makes you tick, what you love and what you want out of life.
It can be easy to lose a sense of self when you’ve fulfilled so many roles in a marriage.
A lot of the time you’ve probably put your own needs on the shelf to take care of everyone else in your life.
Now’s the time when you can really work on getting what you want out of life.
Here are three of our favourite tips on how to do it:
Appreciate Your Inner Talents and Gifts
It can be hard to get your head around the fact that you are uniquely beautiful and have skills, talents and gifts that only you can offer.
You may even have forgotten all about these and are consumed with thinking about the negatives.
Make that change, though, and start thinking about your positives. Make a list and work on it every day that highlights your unique qualities.
Read it every day and start believing it. What examples could you include?
- Beautiful smile
Anything – the list will never end if you really start focusing on the good you have to offer.
Go Easy On Yourself
Throughout the divorce process you experience grieving that is in many ways the same when you lose a loved one.
For many, there is an urgency to make themselves as busy as possible, so they don’t need to face the reality of their situation.
Don’t be overconsumed though – give yourself some time and go easy on yourself.
Why not ask a neighbour or friend to watch your kids or get home a little earlier from work so you can have a bit of time sitting somewhere peaceful, enjoying being you.
Use this time to feel like an individual, not the many roles you play every day.
Treat yourself to something, whether it’s a bubble bath, a cup of tea or some time reading or shopping.
Avoid Bitterness and Regrets
It can be hard to do when you are going through divorce, but it’s best to put bitterness and regrets out of your mind. As they will only drag you down and stop you from moving on with life.
Although it’s normal to be thinking over the ‘if onlys’ and ‘what ifs’, you need to realise that these are not positive or helpful.
Going over these kinds of thoughts in your head is not going to change anything.
Acknowledge them, but remember to learn from those mistakes and move forwards.
Following these three tips will allow you to eventually recover and rediscover exactly who you are, as well as your passion for life again.