We’re grateful to the creator of the 70s classic Benny and the Jets for giving us a 21st century version…
Ladies and gentlemen, Sir Elton John presents Mile-high Harry and the Hypocrites.
Or maybe Mamma Meggy and the Private Jets would be more appropriate? Duke Eco and the Carbon Footprints perhaps?
The couple, who love to preach on the future of the planet and our individual responsibilities for securing it, have been gadding off to sunnier climes as if there was no tomorrow (which there may not be, if their toxic travel continues pumping out tons of pollution).
Yes, we know it’s not long since they reminded us on the Sussex Royal Instagram account that: “With nearly 7.7billion people inhabiting this Earth, every choice, every footprint, every action makes a difference.”
Then, last Monday, they followed that up with an inspirational quote from Archbishop Desmond Tutu: “Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.”
Did they post that as they were being served a nice Provencal rose by the side of Elton’s pool on the Cote d’Azur while the new nanny looked after baby Archie?
Or was it when they were in the “billionaires’ playground” on Ibiza (a resort where exclusive villas cost up to £120,000 a week) while celebrating Meghan’s 38th birthday?
Or perhaps Harry came up with it while he was on a private jet on his way to Sicily to address a group of celebrities on climate change?
Four private planes in the space of 11 days, each flight producing seven times the carbon dioxide emissions per person as a commercial aircraft.
What we’re learning is that the Sussexes preach without any intention of practising. One rule for the wasteful hoi polloi, another for the privileged few.
Harry declared that they’ll have just two children in order to avoid overburdening the planet. Parents-of-three William and Kate were pictured taking a £73 FlyBe flight to Scotland. Coincidence or a PR masterclass? Answers on a postcard from Balmoral, please.
The Sussexes’ grand statements of intent are about as meaningful as some soppy trope printed on a gift-shop mug. And I’m sick of hearing showbiz friends of theirs chastise those of us who are not buying it.
Sir Elton rushed to defend them by insisting he had paid for the private jet to Nice and had offset its damaging emissions by paying a carbon footprint firm to invest in environmental projects.
Hang on a minute. The carbon has already been produced. So the damage has already been done. Hardly any reason to consider their conscience clear.
Who knew all you had to do to relinquish any form of environmental responsibility was to bung a few quid to the right organisation?
So rich folk can carry on burning the house down, us poorer sorts have to get on with fighting the fire.
The royal family should know that the public don’t like it when you say one thing and do another. We live in an era when any “misstep” is likely to find its way on to social media or be captured by a bystander’s camera.
But they can’t cry foul over that. Not when they’re enjoying all the lovely trappings, like the £2.4million taxpayer-funded renovation of their family cottage.
Prince Andrew might be having an easier time right now if he hadn’t been pictured taking a stroll through a New York park with convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein or been filmed waving goodbye to a young woman as she left Epstein’s apartment.
But all he had to do to avoid the negative publicity was sever all ties with Epstein as soon as abhorrent allegations came to light. No biggie. Just the decent thing.
Airmiles Andy or Mile-high Harry, the royal generations change but the sense of entitlement remains the same.
They do whatever they damn well like. Stick that on the Sussex Royal Instagram. It would be more honest.