By Ken Ripley
One nice thing about the internet, especially during a pandemic when our personal contact with people is limited, is that it allows people with a sense of humor to share it with their friends and family.
And while there’s not much to laugh about on the news, some of the emails I’ve received demonstrate quite clearly that Americans may have lost much over the past four months — their jobs, their meals out, their classes, their movies and so much more — but they haven’t lost their sense of humor.
My brother last week sent me a collection of signs definitely worth passing on.
• In one home window, someone put up, “Uninstall 2020. It’s got a virus.”
• The World movie theater’s marquee now says, “The World is temporarily closed.”
• The State Theatre posted: “Now playing — NO close encounters of ANY kind!”
• Another theater posted: “Cinema closed until real life doesn’t feel like a movie. Stay safe. Be kind.”
• The sign on the TexMex Gentlemen’s Club says, “Clothed til April 30.”
• A Baptist church up north posted on its outdoor notice board before Easter, “Had not planned on giving up quite this much for Lent.”
• Journey of Faith Church posted outside, “Jesus rode an ass into Jerusalem. Keep yours at home!”
• Academy Christian Church posted, “Prophecy class canceled due to unforeseen circumstances.”
• Trying to interpret how long 20 seconds is, Texas Coronavirus Prevention recommended, “Wash your hands like you just got done slicing jalapenos for a batch of nachos and you need to take your contacts out.”
• Two drugstore signs had fun. One said “Single man w/TP seeks single woman w/hand sanitizer for good clean fun.” Another said, “Due to quarantine, we will only be telling inside jokes from now on.”
• This sign had some practical educational advice: “Feeling guilty about your kids watching too much TV? Just mute it and put the subtitles on. BOOM. Now they’re reading.”
• Some more practical advice: “Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed everything down and cleaned thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.”
• This could probably apply to a lot of us: “Stepped on my scale this morning and it said: Please use social distancing, one person at a time!”
• Here’s a good question. “Does anyone know which page of the Bible explains how to turn water into wine? Asking for a friend.”
• The Irish Post suggested, “Every few days it would be smart to put your jeans on to make sure they still fit. Pajamas and sweats will have you believe all is well.”
The last two signs, my favorites, make very good points.
• One says, “People keep asking ‘Is COVID-19 really that serious?’ Listen up. Casinos and churches are closed. When heaven and hell agree on the same thing, it’s probably pretty serious.”
• And, finally, take heart. Walnut Grove Baptist Church consoles passersby with this: “This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone, but it’s gonna pass.”
Yes, it will. Have a good week.
Ken Ripley, a Spring Hope resident, is The Enterprise’s editor and publisher emeritus.