With his bald patch and fafda looks, Rameshchandra Fefar never really matched up to anyone’s idea of Kalki gleaned from the Amar Chitra Katha volume of Dasha Avatar. But there you have it. In May 2018, this superintending engineer (his designation providing a clue to his intentions) of the Sardar Sarovar Punarvasvat Agency (SSPA), announced that he is Vishnu’s tenth avatar. Who was I to doubt him?
Responding to a showcause notice for coming to his Vadodara office only 16 days during the previous eight months, this gazzetted officer’s novel pre-novel coronavirus reason to NWFH (not work from home) was far more outré than the traditional Gujarati excuse of ‘Sir, my dog chewed up my dandiya stick.’ But Fefar was not faffing.
In 2018, Fefar announced that he knew he was Kalki, endowed with ‘divine powers’ that included being uninterested in the satta market, from 2010. And unlike other government employees, Fefar was specific about his PoA: ‘I am doing penance at home by entering the fifth dimension to change global consciousness… I can’t do penance sitting in office.’ Obviously. Take it from someone who has also tried to change global consciousness by writing editorials on his office computer. It doesn’t work.
But it was something else in Fefar’s announcement three years ago that struck me after it popped up on my Facebook memory timeline this week. Kalki-ji displayed a level of conviction that only comes when you’re in the know, or in GoI (the two being mutually exclusive). He stated with ‘TV address to the nation’-level confidence that Kali Yug’s darkest, most chaotic stage had already ended. He, in fact, pinpointed the exact time when Satya Yug was already upon us: September 16, 2012, 7.30 am.
On September 16, 2012, President Pranab Mukherjee had talked about the need to allocate more funds for the healthcare sector while inaugurating a multi-specialty hospital. GoI had announced that it expected to put in place a ‘competent authority’ to certify the quality of Active Pharmaceutical Ingredients (APIs) for export to Europe. And Manmohan Singh aired his view that 8.2% growth was possible in the 12th Plan with ‘courage and some risks’.
But, um, Satya Yug? Unless, of course, Fefar-Kalki’s idea of the ‘age of truth’ and the era when mankind is ‘governed by gods’ was very, very,
Which brings me to his fellow Gujarati, Narendra Modi. Before you cough violently on me, hear me out.
At the advent of Fefar’s Satya Yug in mid-September 2012, no one doubted the then Gujarat CM’s ability to deliver. Everyone from Wuhan to Warangal were impressed by his Vibrant Gujarat global summits, and how he singlehandedly cleared the decks without getting into ‘Boo-hoo, the Centre doesn’t love us’ whine mode. Essentially, India had a last-mile deliverer in one of its states, at last.
Cut to May 2021. Whether on the Covid vaccination or on the economic front, policy execution has gone balls-up. Execution required at the state level has been left panting and wanting, wheeled in only for regular denting and painting. To bring order to this Babel, no one is more suited for the job than Narendra Modi, the chief minister. As born-again CM, he could provide the Gujarat model – not the India model — for other state governments to follow, and get us all out of this super Kali Yug soup.
There’s, of course, one hitch. Modi’s now prime minister. And the only puzzle that needs to be solved for him to become the need of the hour: Kaun banega pradhan mantri?
I think you’ve already guessed my answer. Fellow Gujarati, current penitent Rameshchandra Fefar. With Kalki at the Centre and Modi guiding the states, we should be out of this policy paralysis in, inshallah, no time.